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April 21, 2010 / Indigo

100% Me

Hello lovelies,

How has your week been? Mine has been good, as I am adjusting back to my own time zone & routines of life. I had a conversation with some fellow friends who went on the trip Saturday night. It started with religion, with five or six of us all discussing. But by about 1 in the morning, it was me & one of my best friends left. The conversation had turned from religion to just being yourself. And I realized something, which I shared with my friend & we talked about it for awhile. But how often are you 100% you? I’ve only just started to be 100% me at school, at home, with friends, everwhere this year (2009-2010 school year). Looking back, it’s startling to think of how much I’ve changed in almost four years of high school. Or even just this year! I realized, with a sequence of events, that not being who you are all the time is very silly. And pointless. All my life I’ve been attracted to people who are 100% them or more, who frankly just don’t care what people think. In real life, in the world of the internet, or just when I’m out and about. I find them compelling. And it’s because they put all of themselves out in the world, saying “This is me. Take me as I am”. So this year, I started with really small things, and now I am the same person everywhere. I tell everyone everything, I don’t care if people think I’m weird, I don’t “dress down” for school, I don’t hide who I am. And that’s taken me a really long time to be okay with. No, I don’t expect everyone to like who I am. I don’t expect everyone to approve of everything that I do. I don’t care. I can’t go back to hiding myself, to putting up a partial view of myself. Also with just being myself, I’ve learned to love myself. Things about me that I hated, or just disliked even in September are now precious to me. I used to try to hide my fangirl obsession with Tokio Hotel. Why? Because I thought it was embarrasing. But if I want to squeal, blast their songs insanely loud, or dance along why shouldn’t I? I used to hate how tall I was in relation to my friends. At almost 6′, it can be challenging. People get on your case if you wear heels. I happen to enjoy wearing 4-inch heels though.

Now that I’ve experienced the “freedom”, the joys of just being you, I have been and am trying to encourage it with my friends. The worst thing that can happen? Someone won’t like you. And in my experience, they usually aren’t worthy of your friendship anyways. So, readers, what do you do that is 100% you? Do you encourage self-love with the people around you?

love & magic,

indigo

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